Friday, November 09, 2007
Highs and Lows of the Listening Day
However, the routine of Radio 4 is wonderfully comforting, and was a lifeline when I lived in Hong Kong. OK, so the signal was barely audible over the Internet back then, but occasional riffs from the Archers theme were better than Marmite and cricket at the same time. So, here are my favourite moments of the day:
- 0545 The Radio 4 Theme, RIP: Totally pointless and wonderfully eccentric. Why, oh why, did they have to abandon it?
- 0600 Today: The best news coverage there is, and host of two specific highlights:
- 0745: Thought for the Day: Only occasionally is this anything but patronising and pointless. However, it serves a purpose - as Will Self said, if he's still abed at that time, he has to get up to throw something at the radio. Certainly works for me every time.
- 0810: The Shouty Interview! Possibly the best bit of the day! Time for a senior government minister to provide the leading interview of the programme. If you've timed it right, this comes on when you're in the car, and all the frustrations and stresses of the coming day can be released in a glorious primal scream of anger at whatever half-witted mendacious pillock is peddling his/her self-interested disingenuous agenda to the listening public. With a stroke of luck Messrs Humpreys or Naughtie deliver a fatal blow before the interview is through, but even if they don't it's a great way to clear the lungs. Remember: you won't hear a bigger berk anywhere all day, so it's nice to know you've got it over with.
- 1830: With a stroke of luck it's Monday, which means Just a Minute or I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue. The audio equivalent of tea and cucumber sandwiches on a Union Flag tablecloth. Delightful.
-1900: The Archers. The original, best, and only soap opera worth following anywhere in the world. All human life is here, plus some very informative tips about dealing with mildew on late wheat harvests. This is what podcasts were made for.
I would write more, but it's 0745 and I need to go and find something suitable to throw at the radio. Happy listening!
Friday, September 07, 2007
I'm a fake celebrity - get me in here!
Why Canada? Possibly because everyone recognises the national flag, and nobody's too p*ssed off with their eminently sensible foreign policies? Surely not.
Technorati Tags: Humour
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Community Policing - Medieval Style
But when Anti-Social Behaviour Orders are clearly failing to deal with community problems, and under-resourced police forces cannot bring criminals to justice, I can sympathise with this return to old-fashioned methods to deal with criminals in the community. Assuming that he is in fact a drugs dealer (and that's a big if), then I'll bet this deals with the problem far more effectively than any ASBO ever could.

Technorati Tags: Politics
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Perceived Risk
Of course, the actual danger level here is zero. The safety training lasted nearly an hour, and courses got progressively harder over the 2 hours in the trees. You know it can't be dangerous because there's no need to wear a helmet or hi-viz vest (either that or H&S haven't been to visit yet). At any one time you have at least one, and normally two, connections to the safety lines. But that doesn't stop the experience of standing on a small platform 60ft above the ground from inducing a very healthy amount of fear, and the risk certainly feels very real at that moment.
The last time I did anything like that was in 1991, at the French Infantry School in Berlin. Of course, on that course there were no safety lines, no sand traps, it was dark, and we were in full kit - ah, the good old days of no Health & Safety and a conscript army. Which will explain why my knees don't work properly any more and the British army was spared my presence in later years :)
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Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Health and Safety - Rock n Roll style
- watching the lighting monkeys climb 100ft+ rope ladders into the gantry about the audience with no visible safety ropes in case they fell from the ladders;
- then being informed that I couldn't take the lid of a 500ml plastic water bottle from the bar "for Health and Safety reasons". Inevitably the bottle got spilled (I will add that this was for the wife, I was on something a little stronger). Will someone kindly explain the danger of a bottle top? Choking hazard? Trip hazard?;
- and KEEF and Ronnie lit up on stage, which was clearly an outrageous flouting of the anti-smoking laws, and obviously endangered the 23,000 present with their wicked second-hand smoke. The O2 has quite rightly been fined for this, and I trust that Messrs Richards and Woods have learned their lesson and will be better behaved in future, or I'm sure they will soon find themselves very skint indeed. Hem-hem nuff said.
KEEF's rendition of Satisfaction will live with me for ever...
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Sunday, August 12, 2007
We're all doomed
Can we please have an Opposition that knows what it's talking about? Let's get some speeches from the same folks that wrote George Osbourne's excellent piece on Open Source. And if John Redwood stops trying to invent policy on Data Protection, I'll promise to avoid inventing economic policies.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
Sorting out urban 4x4s
Of course, knocking 4x4 drivers is like shooting fish in a barrel, 99% of them have no justification for an off-road vehicle. I have to declare an interest here - I own a 1954 Land Rover and a Subaru Forester (which is a 4x4 but is the same size and height as a compact estate) - but I agree that it's time to deal with the menace of oversized, overpowered, wasteful vehicles driven by individuals who are not competent to safely control them.
Let's start by cutting through the cr@p - the anti-SUV lobby correctly argue that SUVs are too big, inefficient and unsafe. But transit vans are too big for domestic use, and plenty get used for that at weekends; and big executive saloons swan around drinking copious amounts of fuel, so once again this is not a problem that is unique to 4x4s. The real issue here is large vehicles with 'pedestrian-unfriendly' bonnets and bumpers (when was the last time you saw bull bars anywhere? They've already disappeared from our roads) being driven too fast in urban areas. Frankly the issue of them colliding at speed on the open road is irrelevant, a head-on at 70mph is going to be bad news regardless of what type of vehicle is involved. Likewise, if a driver rolls their 4x4 by cornering too fast, well they should know better than that. No, the fact is that the place we want to see these things gone from is the middle of our towns and cities, outside of our schools and playing fields, and hogging parking space by the side of the road.
And the problem drivers? No, it's not the farmers, rural inhabitants, 4x4 enthusiasts or tradesmen in their Land Rovers, Toyotas and Nissans. It's the mums taking kids to school in Guildford in Range Rovers; sales reps cruising around in Landcruisers; families going shopping in Warriors. They could just as easily go in fuel-guzzling Jaguars, big BMWs or high-visibility Galaxys, but none of these are guaranteed to kill a child in a pedestrian impact, and all of them will stop when you press the brake pedal.
The problem with these owners is that they will never go off-road (sorry, the edge of the school playing field doesn't count). Yet they have a powerful SUV, and no training in how to use it either on- or off-road. This makes them a liability - many don't understand (or care about) the issues arising from a vehicle that is heavy, has a high centre of gravity, and a completely different transmission from anything they've driven before. I recently attended a shoot in which a lady Land Rover Discovery owner managed to get the vehicle stuck in an inch of mud, and then popped her head out of the window and asked of the assembled crowd 'does this have 4 wheel drive?'
Banning the vehicles, or radically increasing their road tax, is simply not fair on the many 4x4 drivers who need them, or at least can justify owning a 4x4 without being a menace. And there is a way to get these vehicles off the roads without unfairly punishing legitimate owners. Can you drive a lorry without a proper license? No. Can you drive a motorbike without a proper license? Certainly not. So why should 4x4's be allowed on the roads in the hands of people who have not been trained to use them?
Here's my reasonable, equitable, and sure-to-succeed plan:
1. Introduce a new driving license classification for '4x4 Utility' vehicles, that covers all large 4x4s. Anyone who wishes to drive a 4x4 without this classification should have 'L' plates on the vehicle and a competent passenger.
2. To qualify for this new classification, the driver must first pass a theory examination in which they demonstrate familiarity with the workings of a 4x4 transmission, the safety issues associated with the weight and centre of gravity of the vehicle, how to drive off road, how to recover a stuck vehicle, how to tow another vehicle etc. - all the things you need a 4x4 for.
3. The driver must then attend a one-day off-road driving course, in which they put all of the above into practice in an environment that is wet, muddy and generally suited to off-roaders. Most importantly, they must complete the course *IN THEIR OWN VEHICLE*. Not a school vehicle, or an instructor's vehicle. This is essential: it will weed out all of the unnecessary 4x4's that are geared for the road, and all of the unnecessary drivers who would hate to scuff their Guccis or break a nail.
4. Anyone who can demonstrate a legitimate commercial or domestic need for a 4x4 should be able to take the test for free. The cost to everyone else should not be subsidised by the taxpayer. The requirement for the new classification could be phased in over a three-year period.
This should very quickly deal with the problem of urban 4x4's without financial prejudice against those who genuinely need the vehicles. Then I can carry on cycling without getting side-swiped by the wing mirror of some maniac in a Land Cruiser with half a dozen screaming kids in the back and a mobile phone clamped to their ear.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Star Inn Route Stats
Maximum Speed: 41.5mph
Moving Time: 24’ 39”
Moving Average: 13.3mph
Total Distance Covered: 328.41m
Monday, July 30, 2007
GPS route logs now available
http://idisk.mac.com/toby.stevens-Public
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Random photos
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Rear of the tour
Adieu from Paris
Last lunch
BREAKING NEWS
Friday, July 27, 2007
Star Inn Supper
Quote of the day
Day 3 - 265 miles on the clock
New land speed record
Lunch
This is more like it
Day Number ... Er ... Definitely Day
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Quote of the day
Phil: "No you berk, he was shouting 'a droite' - you were on the wrong side of the road!"
The Longest Day
In bits
Top of the world, Ma!
Puncture time
Day Two
Horrible 3 miles out of Dieppe up hills, and we've now paused for coffee and upgraded Phil's bike.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Race leaders
Quote of the day
Phil: 'Yes'
Matt: 'Thank God for that, I was getting worried.'
Team Star Inn has the yellow jersey!
Emergency
Outwood
Training Dinner
The team arrives
Simon claims to have had 69mph out of his speedo, which is probably true, but nobody's buying Matt's claim of 74mph which is just silly.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
The lap of luxury
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Day One - Made It!
Now, where's the pub?
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Many thanks to BAT
First pictures are up!
Hit the road!
Friday, July 20, 2007
It's raining, it's pouring...
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When technology overtakes commercial concepts
I wonder how many iPhone users even have chequebooks?
Technorati Tags: Apple
Working for the Danes
BBC NEWS | World | Europe | Danish army evacuates 200 Iraqis
Technorati Tags: News
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Banged up on a stolen passport
BBC NEWS | Magazine | 'ID theft left me in Slovenian prison':
Technorati Tags: Identity
Sunday, July 15, 2007
An Acceptable Use Policy for the Internet
http://www.netauthority.org/
I feel so much safer now. And so does my dog.
Technorati Tags: Humour
Monday, April 23, 2007
Through the £1000 mark
Technorati Tags: Bike
Friday, April 20, 2007
Of Badgers & Buzzards
Technorati Tags: Off-topic
Friday, April 13, 2007
This is why I stopped living in cities
I woke up at 6am to the sound of the spring birdsong. Fantastic.
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Tuesday, April 10, 2007
London to Paris
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Monday, April 09, 2007
The loyalty card police are on their way
Technorati Tags: Privacy
WMDs? What WMDs?
Technorati Tags: Off-topic
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Now that's what I call a shopping list
Technorati Tags: ID Cards
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Misappropriation and misuse of identity
Technorati Tags: Identity
Why Keith Richards is my hero
Technorati Tags: Humour
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Highwest is back!
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